a love letter signed in blood & sealed with jack daniels [entries|friends|calendar] [[a memoir screamed in silence]] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

7-4-05 [06 Oct 2005|12:29am]   tremble ramble shake wandering racing speeding my eyes are pinned open with my psychosis snap crackle arthritis i’m itching like a fiend floating – cloud six aching throbbing pain quivering ~~~ the twitching wont cease i’m spinning – rounds, like a game of roulette russian, rememory, anguish or regret? the time is wrong - the ceiling’s are taller than the roof glimmer sparkle, (pretty like fairy) dusk the fog  has settled through my ears energy spaz gulp a cool river running through my veins   FLASH the film’s almost up scroll to the top backspace backspace : enter slogan here open your eyes, pray tightly pry open this chest cough – black breath exposed two steps forward…. a thousand steps to the side what has hell done for me lately? burn inhale relax   >PAUSE< cigarette break, the door seems wide closed peaceful, i can feel the rising chests of the coma like bodies they sprawl out      like a murder of crows speaking of murder, when’s the last time you led a knife… the records skipping… please turn to Bside, Bside, Bees Slide   everything is falling to pieces the ground was so far from this drop i’m giving into the temptation of multiplicity sclerosis? no psychotics analytical ~~~~~~~~~~~ illiterate to the least diplomatic white collar trash but that’s the next story mind track… back on the main road.   cows… maybe crows i’ll put money on the latter DON’T WALK UNDER THE LADDER! seven years shattered luck for a world of stupidity cracked out in SEVEN days   SEVEN back track one, repeat three times now fall to your knees, i demand a hail mary   scream till your finger nails bleed bleed till your numb in the head feed off the energy of lost souls it’s a cult of admiration cries for help VS lines of suicide eyeliner VS vanilla lips of passion? passion -~> i choose poison or was it that the poison plague chose me? i’m not quite sure of anything anymore   scratch that deja- you?   ALONESOME, it’s 4am chirp little crickets, the dew’s arrived morning glory is soon to rape us with her beams RISE.   FALL  the romans failed   a new chapter begins Aristotle ain’t got nothing on my philosophy i’m spinning, rolling off the tip of my pen   SETTLE, CALM … BREATH!   the sixth dimension of plant you. you … are you listening? i’ve failed you for the first time all over again the night is seeping through the cracks the floor boards creaking no wait, tile… maybe carpet   unfinished and unsatisfied, my only crimson regret a rant of ages   ROCK, SET, GO!   speeding down the interstate of emotions bouncing over the great dividers   red light means… i know this one, but do i care to remember? dare me to cry?   wind calm yourself, please quit the ringing in my ears STOP STOP STOP! quit. i can’t take this anymore   church bells, ashes the memories flood through the haze i fear the mirror, it’s cracking from the inside close the blinds i want to be insightlessful paranoia – stop looking at me haunting taunting give it up à i’m giving up   lighten up. he loves you closure soon will come   too many chairs are facing me i’m in the past house, you’re all dead pulse racing PLEASE STOP - - - i’m begging you. i can’t handle another loss my sanity is at .001 percent, leave it be.   my ink is running a 3 mile stint. turn it off click click click don’t think, don’t speak none of this must leave these walls lock the window on your way out the door’s bolted to the ground dizzy cells of containment turn out the light tell the man i’ll get back to him fairly well. resurrect me ♥

[31 Mar 2005|10:40pm] i'm too lazy to post more poems.. and i doubt anyone looks at this anymore.. but if you're really interested.. then i guess comment on here or my real one. 2 attempt to resurrect me ♥

growth [14 Jul 2004|12:16am] i have made my fair share of mistakes i've deceiced you, i have deceived myself i have become everything, i never wanted to be ah the stupidity of the young i always thought i was better than that different than that so much stronger than that it was just so mind altering and judgement bluring then it turned to moral crushing. here i lay, stripped of my innocence all my beliefs shattered, and i simply cannot cry. the tears are even ashamed to grace my dirty face. this emotion runs deeper than tears could ever express, to the self disgust and pitty. i wish i could just close my eyes and forget but it's not that simple cuz when my eyelids rise my innocence will still be gone. and there's no turning back or replacing that. 1 attempt to resurrect me ♥

goodbye, means for never [10 May 2004|01:45pm] sweetheart, my love, keeper of my soul, reach out to me, and hold me in your arms. look deeply into my eyes... and please, shhh, don't speak. my darling, just kiss me, touch me, heal me, save me, take me. all that i am, it's for you... resurrect me ♥

temptation [23 Mar 2004|08:06pm] alas the crimson beauty is visualized.. eat the apple! eat the apple! eat the apple! the serpent taunts me EAT THE APPLE... sin. resurrect me ♥

give a shit [23 Mar 2004|07:56pm] walking this path of estranged solitude anxiously i search for the meaning, the answer to my years wasted it seems the world as a whole is naive to it's problems or simply chooses to ignore the fact that they even exist going about their daily lives caring not of the sorrows of others but concentrating solely on the misfortune of their own existence rarely grasping the concept of the pain and destruction outside these lives they hate something needs to happen this needs to stop. resurrect me ♥

misserable desire [22 Mar 2004|07:54pm] "passion! passion! passion!" she screamed through her lust, wanting so bad for the lust to be love, real love, true love. slowly she came to the realization of her fate, she then knew the truth. lonliness was the answer, her truth, and wishful thinking could never change that. resurrect me ♥

downward i tumble [22 Mar 2004|07:06pm] drowning in a sorrow that no one should have to know. even if i wanted to talk about it, i could not explain it, it is something understood in my twisted mind. don't worry yourself over something as trivial as me. i loathe, i loathe, i loathe everything i've become. resurrect me ♥

angel. [17 Mar 2004|08:57pm] close your wings sweet angel, wrap them tight around me. protect me from this evil, protect me from this world. take my hand & be my light, guide me away from the pain. for the one thing that i most fear, the end, is all but too near. resurrect me ♥

a little less poetry, a little more pain [15 Mar 2004|08:21pm] the world goes on around me i'm just an insignificant speck i'm unnoticeable & those who so could care less life, it seems has no other purpose than pain pain through stress, worry, neglect & loneliness four things i have become far too caught up in but when this pain is all the world deals there's nothing to do but fight, or take it. through my battles i've become weak bearing my scars of every emotion the battles become longer & harder as i become smaller & weaker there's nothing left to fight with or for it seems as if all is lost but alas i reach the king of pain grinning evilly on his throne of hostility he glares with in me needing nothing but his eyes for this battle i know there is but one option left, so i rip open my chest, exposing my heart of innocence i raise my dagger & come down with an immense force piercing my heart, bleeding my pure blood onto the villain of madness burning him to dust though i lay there alone & slowly emptying i feel a sense of satisfaction for the pain has no ceased & the suffer subsided leaving me now, with only a sweet bliss. resurrect me ♥

meaningful warmth [09 Mar 2004|08:42pm] our eyes tell the stories of the beating in our hearts we follow the path of lust to love with our lips guiding the journey. the grace of your hand upon my cheek lets me know i am now safe the moments spent in the warmth of your embrace, scare away all the fears, tears & insecurities. resurrect me ♥

In Lust [26 Feb 2004|12:13am] i'm in complete lust over you, enamoured by everything you are. to taste the poison of your skin, would be to fly upon the wings of the darkest angels. to be embraced by your tender lips, would be a resurection from a thousand desirable deaths. to gaze upon the passion of your raptuous eyes, would be to witness the pandemonious wars of heaven & hell. to be held in the shelter of your warmth, would be my savior against the agony of the mind. what i wouldn't give to be in the mind of your ingenious passions resurrect me ♥

moments of weakness, feelings of hate.. [23 Feb 2004|08:20pm] death to all scream in pain die in agony my pleasure is in your suffering i'll smile if you cry & i'll cut if you smile. resurrect me ♥

deadly sins [23 Feb 2004|08:17pm] infatuation obsession lust sex love deception murder suicide. resurrect me ♥

freedom [19 Feb 2004|08:35pm] this knife produces a beautiful crimson death through suprizingly it is not powered by my own hand but by the very words that leave your lips & echo in tourtured cell of my mind they strip me of all self dignity, esteme & love cutting deep with out any mercy these blue eyes watch the life, once loved, as it slowly pours out & i cannot help but stand outside myself & cry unable to do anything but watch so i sit in the candle light witnessing the draining of my exsistence with my will restrained by the phrases that have plagued my thoughts since the begining of this imprisonment a wave of relief reassures my heart that this is the only way to cease the pain & if god is truely in existence, surely he must understand resurrect me ♥

shittay lust [19 Feb 2004|10:34am] you sit there so silent with the darkest eyes and the sweetest lips, that rarely seem to part. we've spoken never with words but only with our eyes, speaking for hours conversing over music, liturature, religion, art everything and anything. everything spoken with a firey passion this passion i've found in your gaze it pulls me closer. intrigued by everything you do i sit there in awe enticement running through my viens like poison there's nothing i wouldn't give to be kissed by those lips. to taste the passion & feel the lust released upon my neck, would feed this desire that has gathered on the inside. resurrect me ♥

grapes of wrath [03 Feb 2004|10:21am] the animalistic cravings from the venom of our demise intoxicate our tender anguish leading to our silent obliteration. our rapturous infatuation is drivin by our torturous devotion to the infernal serpent of our wicked hearts your suple lips graze my neck causing diabolical riots amungst my senses, pulsating, i go into sensory overload as passion takes the lead trembling desire pushes out the apitite for lust and the game bgins the colors become vivd and the taste becomes heavenly. the room starts quaking as our enticingly fatal love takes control our agonizing craving wont settle until the devil is fed. resurrect me ♥

Death [23 Jan 2004|12:09am] this pain bleaches my heart, as the crimson poison we call life leaks from my lips. black rain falls, as inaudible screams, from my eyes. your attempt to breath your passion deep in me, proves pointless, as my touch becomes colder. vulnerability is the only melody my soul has left, but the song remains silent & is unable to shelter me from this captivation. the end, i can feel, is near. as all vibrancy fades, darkness is all that remains. resurrect me ♥

A Love Letter Signed w/ Blood & Sealed w/ Jack Daniels [22 Jan 2004|12:10am] the feelings that once plagues our dreams, have all come to this. the grim reality of our passion forms a dark cloud over our hearts. this ritualistic emotion embraces a beautiful conception of cerebral sensation. our touches are becoming colder, & our masks slowly melt away. adrenaline anxiously purifies the poison, as a cocktail of words have now formed a short love letter in our heads. the release of this comforting phrase will only serves to be the perfect marriage of love & death, with melancholic eroticism. as we curl our lips, the recluse slips out, & our sins are captured by redemption. resurrect me ♥

Blerb [11 Jan 2004|12:11am] sensual smiles leak unforgiving words. & a hunger for death, with my longing for your love resurrect me ♥

Beyond Redemption [07 Jan 2004|12:14am] [power] [track 3] [play] i'm in a trance & falling faster into your control, as i gasp excitingly for air. your song is sex. your words travel so deep & tantalize my senses, until i'm screaming, begging & pleading for more. your voice thrusts so far into me, filling me with this poisonous desire for your arousing passion. "& no one's gunna catch [me] when [i] fall" as the music fades to silence i'm brought back to reality, but not with out a smile & a much craved intoxicant. resurrect me ♥

Alone [07 Jan 2004|12:13am] tuff luck... you'll never reach me b/c i'm alone in my room alone in my head alone in my heart i'm just alone in this life. 1 attempt to resurrect me ♥

Drinks w/ Death [19 Dec 2003|12:15am] death plays upon our tortured hearts as we dance the devils dance just order me a little flaming lust & two shots of love on the rocks. let's drink to our new found grave. let's move together in the ghost of our passions. resurrect me ♥

Fragile [19 Dec 2003|12:14am] holding your fragile soul in my hand i slowly place in to my lips & suck you in, i'll suck you dry i smoke the life right our of you as i bring death to your suffering. resurrect me ♥

Deep, Dark Kind of Love [18 Dec 2003|12:16am] as i fall to the knees of your angelic mercy i plead with you to have no fear. for this fierily passion in our hearts cannot be killed, & this deathly lust we feel will never fade. even as we end, it will always be true, this is something you cannot escape. it's just a deep, dark kind of love. resurrect me ♥

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